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Discuss/Describe what an ‘out of the box’ version of your life would look like. Then surrender that picture to God and give Him permission to transform you.
I'm not even sure what that would look like. But I guess it would involve me taking more risks. Cause I don't do that enough. I'm afraid to. I don't like situations where I can't control things, predict the outcome. I don't like not knowing what's going to happen.
For example, witnessing. I've never done that, at least in the traditional sense. I'm not even sure how. Yet when I took this one spiritual gifts test, Missionary was in my top three. And even if it is in my "gift mix," I'm afraid that using it will mean having to go out and preach to people in some jungle somewhere. I kinda secretly hope that I'll end up like Robin Jones Gunn, who wanted to do that sort of missionary work, but couldn't get it, and ended up being a missionary through her writing instead. Besides, I don't do well socially - I can't really help it, with my Asperger's. But I have been known to strike up conversations with complete strangers on the bus totally randomly, though usually cause of something they're wearing or something I overheard them say.
On Christmas Day, we saw the movie The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Based on the short story of the same name by James Thurber, it's about this guy who leads a fairly boring life working with photo negatives for Life magazine, who copes by engaging in a vibrant fantasy life, where he daydreams he's someone else, someone really awesome. Then, when he actually starts doing adventurous stuff in real life, he finds he daydreams less.
I think I am the same way. I daydream all the time. I like to escape into some fantasy when I'm at work - or a lot of other places - just to keep from going completely mental. It's no wonder I don't have the kind of focus and work ethic I had in high school.
But if maybe I lived more "out of the box," I'd do that less. Unfortunately, I'm scared as to what that might look like.
God, please help me. Help me not to be so afraid to take risks. Show me what living outside the box for me might look like, and help me to accept that to live that way could be better for me. Amen.
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