Saturday, February 01, 2014

Miles-a-Minute Challenge #20: Your Aim

Here's my challenge answer for today's Miles-a-Minute video, "Aim."

Discuss/Describe in what area of your life might your aim be off, in relation to where you want to end up.

I think my aim might be awry in my career. Not that I don't think God wants me to be a writer. I've always felt he gave me the talent for and love of writing for a reason. But as soon as I started looking into trying to publish and stuff, it became less about having a talent I could use for God and more about becoming famous and supporting myself financially. I mean, whether I can live off my writing is an important consideration obviously. I have to be able to afford food and a roof over my head and stuff. But then I got obsessed with having a Plan B, a day job that could support me till my writing took off, and spent all this time and money getting a web design certificate so I could be a web designer, only to then have second thoughts about that cause I realized my graphic design skills suck. Which makes me feel like it was a waste of time and money doing that, and I would've better off not getting the certificate at all, and just focusing on my B.A. It would have saved me an extra year of school for one thing. 

Yet I went to the trouble to get a B.A. in something I loved (English - or "Literature and Writing Studies" as CSUSM called it) rather than something that will get me a job. Part of me doesn't regret it - I got to read a lot of great things, stretch my writing skills, and meet a lot of great people. And I grew my language skills by minoring in French, growing more knowledgable in a language I already love. But part of me feels stupid, cause now what am I gonna do as a career? As I tell people, a degree in English prepares you to do "everything and nothing" - it can be used in a lot of different jobs, but it doesn't prepare you for a specific job, like being a doctor or a lawyer or an accountant. I got grants all through university (a State University Grant and a Pell Grant, both of which I got just by filling out the FAFSA, not transferring till I was 24 and doing my own taxes, and working a job that doesn't pay very much, meaning the government thinks I'm poor, even though I live in a middle-class family) meaning the government basically paid for me to go to school...but for what?

I've spent 12 years "paying my dues" and working low-paying, part-time jobs. It's time for me to have an actual career. And I think after 12 years maybe I can afford to be picky. But how to go about it??

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